Memories are a function of their substance

Memories are generally personal and unique to each person. However, not all of our life experiences are memorable. The ones that are truly treasured are a core part of our self. Why is this so? My submission is that substance is the cornerstone of building a life with great memories. The more the substance, the more we cherish those memories and the more we draw from them, and the more we gravitate towards them. Perhaps, this is far more personal and far deeper than we think it is. 

The word substance in the context of life's memories is one of the most abstract human experiences. This is especially true in our initial years when our mind is not yet fully developed and we are still absorbing many things like a sponge. More often than not, that is the time of our lives when we make the deepest bonds with people we eventually care about for life and form the core environment that contributes to who we are. These abstract life experiences, replete with substance, tend to sustain over long periods of time. The simpler they are, the more meaningful they become. 

Here are a handful of examples (with our most cherished friend(s)) - e.g. going to a cafe nearby, reading books together, waking up each other from one another's house early in the morning, being the first to wish each other on a birthday, going out on a weekend trip, writing long letters to each other and pouring every emotion and thought into it, visiting a library together, going on long walks together, sharing an ice cream, sitting at a bus stop for hours together, attending/not attending class together, watching a movie, looking deep into each other's eyes and knowing precisely what the other person is going through without a word being uttered, offering help without one ever asking for it, or just sitting in a coffee shop and looking at each other and engaging in the deepest conversations possible, or showing up at your friend's house unannounced on his/her birthday, etc.. 

Alternatively, these experiences could also be long conversations with one's sibling. Or, visiting a temple together with your friend and/or family. Or, talking for hours together with your partner about gaining strength to face life. Or, taking the trouble of crossing the entire city just to be with your friend for an entire afternoon. And so on. 

Each of the above instances may appear to be an individual activity. But, a series of these activities, performed over an entire generation with our most cherished mates/family and in the environment that we are used to, becomes the cornerstone of our life's substance. Interestingly, none of these fond memories have a gadget or technology attached to them. They are pure experiences with a human to human connect. They last a lifetime.

The obvious question is, why do our deepest memories feel that much more special than other life experiences? I am convinced that this is a function of the depth, relevance and meaning of those memories to our lives. They form the core of our identity, our thinking and our psyche. Anything new and relevant is good to know but is most likely not something we relate to easily. We love to hold on to what we know, and to what we have and with the people who matter to us. We have familiarity zones to draw from and from the environment that we most naturally associate ourselves with.

We may traverse this earth and see different places and even live in different parts of the world. However, if we are true to ourselves, it is hard to replicate our feeling of belongingness to any other place except to the place of our origin. That feeling is such an overpowering force that it constantly reminds us of who we really are. There is strong merit in saying 'home sweet home'!

In many instances, I have experienced an elevated sense of emotion and thrill of recounting great memories, only (and purely) because those special moment(s) were intrinsically attached to a person. In other words, those moment(s) with anyone else, would not have any relevance or meaning in life. That is a high that has no parallel in human emotion. As they say, ''Life is short. Spend it with people who make you laugh and feel loved''. I was truly lucky in experiencing those highs, which can and never will be replicated with anyone else. Those moment(s) are treasured as a celebration of life!

Borrowing a quote from a Twitter (rather X) feed, ''Anyone can make you smile, many people can make you cry, but it takes someone really special to make you smile with tears in your eye''. When one gets to experience that and also enjoy the original environment of one's life, it helps us understand why substance, over anything else, matters the most. And how most of us will cherish precisely those moments, eventually!