Social media is omnipresent, but its roots are from an offline world!

As a social being, man has a natural orientation to interact, love, befriend, associate and engage with other human beings in his/her circle. But, in the last few years, I have almost always noticed how people have deliberately chosen to disassociate on a personal basis, simply because of the advent of social media. The more hyper-connected we are digitally, the less connected we have ended up, socially.

There are tons of virtues in social media. It can connect so many things and people not thought of before. Nobody ever possibly imagined social media to become commercial entities running real businesses. But what social media completely misses, despite its virtues, is the sheer inability to replace the in-person connection i.e. the root of human's psyche. Maybe I am old school, but there is a certain charm that is experienced with in-person interaction, that almost remains unmatched to this day. 

When I was in school and college, the greatest joys of life were in the bonds of friendships that were forged on campus. This is not pre-historic, but part of recent history i.e. within the last 20+ years. Some of my greatest times in life, were in school and college. Back then, diversity in opinion was welcome. There was old world charm of deliberately spending quality time with friends talking about studies, life, girlfriends, relationships, career ambitions, dreams et al. Having lunch with each other was good fun. There was no app anywhere at the time either. 

Of course, it was not picture perfect and obviously friendships from that time had its ups and downs too, like with everything else. But, one forged wonderful memories based on real bonhomie, which till date, does not take too long to rekindle. There was hardly ever a discomforting public embarrassment that I remember, which is such a common thing on social media now. Equally, I remember many an instance, when many of us did not have the best of days, some of us experienced personal tragedies, and were physically present to lend a shoulder of support. In as much as social media can connect anyone, it will never have the ability to create such real bonds with people. E.g. what is this virtual, digital hug all about? I for one, have never gotten my head around it! ;)

Interestingly, the same generation that I grew up in, seamlessly migrated to the digital world. But, whenever there is the opportunity for an in-person interaction, we are equally at ease in putting down our gadgets, looking into one another's eyes, and talking to each other (instead of sending smileys!). Real, powerful, meaningful, and deep conversations. And the rest of the time, we continue to be connected digitally. What is uniquely distinct though, is that the digital conversations surprisingly hover around topics of mutual interest that has its roots from what we had framed 20+ years ago! Be it discussing cricket, or chatting about a other friends, or world views on education or politics, or plain banter. Thankfully, at least to my generation, social media has not destroyed a real conversation. Our roots are actually from the offline world!

There is a common, and notoriously mischievous phrase called WhatsApp University these days, which will transmit information faster than what the news channels can. But WhatsApp is an extension of precisely what we have all done offline for years i.e. to converse, to engage, and to stay connected. Social media is only taking off from that fundamental human trait, but has a structure and presentation which is perhaps different. There can be no WhatsApp, if nobody wants to be in touch with one another. 

But, what is it that the offline world has, which WhatsApp might never have? It is knowing the person behind the digital message. E.g. I have had the fortune of having intelligent, non-judgmental WhatsApp group chats with many of the same folks, all of whom, never had a phone on campus. Therefore, any opinion now cited on WhatsApp, is not judged. Simply because, the people receiving the WhatsApp message have known the sender in person, long before WhatsApp came along. That is the power of personal connectivity. No amount of digital connectivity is going to replace that!

The most impersonal thing that I find on social media is greeting a person on an occasion (birthday, wedding anniversary, or any other special day). A modern day birthday typically has a flood of WhatsApp or Facebook messages. Festivals have enough and more graphical designs to greet each other (impersonally!). When was the last time any of us received a WhatsApp or phone message starting with the words, Dear ___(your name), followed by the message? How many of these messages are a function of people genuinely remembering your birthday, and how many of those messages are a function of automated birthday reminders, is a moot question. These are so impersonal, almost robotic at times.

There are ways to tackle such robotic greetings! I have seen 3 of my most cherished friends who stay away from being impersonal/robotic. All 3 of them have done the same thing (none of them know the other!). One of them (a fabulously talented girl from Bangalore), switched off the birthday reminder feature on her Facebook account. The only people who greet her are the ones who genuinely remember the occasion. Similarly, she will never send me a forwarded message on WhatsApp, but we talk to each other over video for an hour+ easily, in every call. I was once boarding a flight on her birthday and had no way of calling her internationally then. It was the only occasion in my life I sent her a WhatsApp greeting and it was so odd! 

Or, my two other friends (both tall, charming, nice guys and C-level executives now), who do the exact same thing, but stay in touch wherever they are in the world. Even now when we meet, we have so many options to consider - go for a walk, board the local train and walk on Marine Drive, eat at our old neighbourhood eateries in Malleswaram, play badminton or watch cricket, have a long conversation etc - there is no gadget around at all! This is not a statement against social media, but it is an expression of how to retain personalised, real connect in a hyper-connected world. Having digital around is a bonus, but not a necessary condition to regale in the wonderful friendship that I have with all 3 of these fabulous people!

Of course, there are some characters who have conveniently ostracized me, despite being hyperactive online - per the alerts one gets due to common connections. But that ostracization is not because of social media, but more because of the intent of the person who chooses to disassociate. In these instances, the intention not to have a personal connection with somebody, overrides the ability of any social media that can help engage with others. I guess, social media will never find a replacement for this either i.e. human intent to disconnect or disengage. To that extent, human beings will still control the world!

It has been a fascinating ride from an offline world to a digital world. Interestingly, we are the last generation that even saw the offline world, a mere 20+ years ago. And many of us, though now fully adapted to digital, still appreciate our original association in an offline mode. Call it old school, but those are experiences that are genuinely cherished. Having a real conversation whilst sitting with a dear old friend at his/her house (or vice-versa), with a cup of tea in hand, or staying overnight to watch a late night cricket match together, or sitting in a train on a long journey with a friend with the deepest of conversations, are human experiences that can never ever be replaced. May it long continue, despite social media continuing to distract us, overpower us and trying to control our time.

The nonsense of comparisons

For as far back as I can remember, comparisons have been a part of my life. What is worse, I never actually knew that I was quite affected by it, till I decided never to be crushed by that force.

And what a force it was. Comparisons of exam scores of friends in school, comparisons of cousins who went abroad, and so on. It was an endless spree of comparisons, almost anywhere I went or anyone I met early on. Sadly, despite fully understanding the incredible power of comparisons to crush a person's psyche, I never did anything about it for a long time.  

Comparison no.1 - the earliest comparison that I experienced was people in the late '90s/early 2000's, telling me to move to the US. Nobody gave me a basis as to why I needed to go abroad when I was perfectly fine and happy at home. Nor did I analyse further. The closest to receiving any basis back then, was that my sister had married and moved to the US. So, it is only logical that I should get there too. It never occurred to anyone (or me) engaging in these comparisons, that my background, my interests, my professional profile, and indeed my stage in life at the time, was tremendously different from hers. I ended up applying to top US MBA programmes, only to discover that not one of them ever gave me an interview call.  I drowned in confidence. I despaired. I even didn't know what else to do. This US MBA was supposed to be the passport to a glorified life. Little did I realise, that my skills were never in doing those fancy MBAs. Hell, it was so bad that I left my Chartered Accountancy course, to go after the pipe dream of a US MBA, without ever analysing my own strengths. It took me a circuitous route to get into my own area (currently, internal audit), and in a different way I am happy I touched strategy, consulting, research and analysis and other areas before landing up in my own core domain. Lesson learnt - listen to advise, and ignore them if they have no basis (doesn't matter WHO is giving you that advise). 

Comparison no.2 - it is important to do well in life and become somebody. While this may sound tremendously motivating and inspiring, it is the tone in which this line is stated, that makes a difference. When done professionally, with the right intent and with the true spirit of excellence, I don't think anyone has a problem with such lines. But, when the same thing is stated with the subtleties of sarcasm, or is embedded with laces of comparison that you are a nobody, or has some level of underlying judgement that you are currently not good enough, the same line takes a complete different meaning. Sadly, for me, I faced the latter, from multiple people. It needed a tremendous amount of distilling of the intent of such advice to learn who meant well, and who didn't. Lesson learnt again - distil advise, but more importantly read tone of such advise correctly - not everyone means well.

Comparison no.3 - I did my ICWA and then my US CPA much later in life, when I was 35+. I never had an issue with it. My wife and parents motivated me more than I ever could ask for. I almost didn't have to do it, as I had the so-called good job in hand, was travelling countries, had an international assignment etc. Looks good from the outside, right? But, I was the only one on the planet who knew that I never should have written those US MBA exams in my 20s and only ever did it because of the nonsensical comparisons around me. I knew I always had wanted to do the top most accounting and finance professional qualifications out there. But the questions continued well into my 30s - why ICWA and CPA now? Isn't it late? What benefit will it give you? The people who compared, kept saying the same things, albeit in a more circumspect way, as I was now 35+ and supposedly adult. But, their underlying tone was as constant (and this time, discernible), as it was in the late '90s. Thankfully, this time, I did not bother listening to any advise. Lesson learnt - do things for the sheer passion of doing it, especially if the only certificate you ever want is the certificate to prove things to yourself and to keep your head high. Really, nothing else matters in professional life.

After all these experiences (there are many, many more), I am convinced that comparisons are the greatest bane to a person's confidence. What one person can do, is never a template for what any other person can do. The only possibility is for one to learn from the other, even if the other is better than oneself - absolutely nothing wrong with that. But, to deviate from the fundamentals of who you are, that too professionally, and listening to the nonsense of comparisons, will only work to one's detriment. I can only think of my idol, Rahul Dravid who said in an interview, 'It is easy to be dazzled by Tendulkar at the other end of the pitch and to see what he does, but one should not forget what one can do'. Or, as Harsha Bhogle famously said, 'I cannot do what Tendulkar does and he cannot do what I can do'. I am thankful I suffered the nonsense of comparisons in my 20s, and had time to fix it - more a necessity than anything else. Lessons learnt for life - listen to advice, but if it makes no sense, do not bother.

Talent dazzles, but faith sustains

The recent tragic death of the iconic footballer, Diego Maradona, is a huge loss for the sporting world. Of the many things that the great man did, the one standout attribute that is universally acknowledged, is the talent he had and displayed to the rest of us. I have been thinking about the following - what is it about talent that dazzles most of us to this degree? Why are we just awestruck when such phenomenal talent finds ways to express itself in whichever sphere it may relate to? I am not a psychologist or an expert analyst, but a few pointers come to mind. Let me start with some examples, and then illustrate my pointers.

Many of us have been dazzled by the sheer magical powers of a sportsperson displaying his or her skills in the middle of a sporting arena. Be it the famous Wimbledon final between John McEnroe vs Bjorn Borg, or the iconic Boris Becker shaking off traditions at the All England Club by diving around in Centre Court, or the magic of Sachin Tendulkar or the Sir IVA Richards on the cricket field - there are umpteen examples of how talent has dazzled us. There are more examples from other walks of life too - Harsha Bhogle (a classy cricket writer and a commentator who actually started the profession for people with non-cricketing background)), SPB (the most divine singer in the last 30 years who was not a trained singer) and so on.

Talent has a way of showing the rest of us the art of the possible. It has its own language which is unscripted and has no parallel. Talent also dazzles us because it shows us versions and expressions that are potentially not seen before, even if it is from the same field. E.g. a Gavaskar vs a Sehwag - both opening batsmen with different styles, and both effective in their own unique ways. 

The other thing about talent, is that it dazzles us with the incredible charm of seeing human ability in action. There is a lot of talent around, but it means nothing if not expressed and if not met with its counterpart i.e. Opportunity. It is only when talent is met with opportunity, can any of us even have a chance of seeing what talent can do. That is precisely where the breakdown happens and many a talent is lost to the world or is never seen. Imagine a world where sportsmen, musicians, writers, actors, dancers, people in creative arts, journalists, and many others that we have seen, had not gotten an opportunity. 

Talent clearly pushes doors open and creates ideas that were not seen before. It has a way of demanding opportunities to create new vistas. I am always reminded of the famous Indian newsmaker, Dr. Prannoy Roy, who struck such a chord when he launched world news in our TV rooms in India in 1989 - I am of course referring to the famous The World This Week on Friday nights. He was talented, and by his own admission, perhaps struggled to get an opportunity to showcase his talent. But, when the final outcome presented itself, we entered a world of 24 X 7 news channels. That is what talent can do - open frontiers that did not exist earlier.

Which leads me to another point. Talent is not restricted to the world of creative arts, sports, or such professions which lend itself to more expression than others. Talent exists everywhere and in every field. The absolute key, is for talent to chase opportunity with the faith that the marriage will sustain. Only when raw talents that are harnessed and sustained over a long periods of time, will the audiences will continue to be convinced. Expression of talent, therefore, almost needs a certain form of serenity, concentration, focus, practice and training. That is how perhaps, big names are made i.e. not just by the slew of advertisements that we see. One needs tremendous diligence behind the core talent, in order for conviction and repeated opportunities to set in. After all audiences do have short attention spans. 

One can think of so many examples where such sustained expression of one's talent has dazzled so many of u. And they are not the easiest stories, behind the flash. E.g. MS Dhoni, Viswanathan Anand, A.R. Rahman, the Bansals of Flipkart, Dr. Verghese Kurian (Amul), the fingers of Dr. Zakir Hussain, Pt. Ravi Shankar, Prakash Padukone, SPB, or radio jockeys, art museums, the masons who built the Taj Mahal, your class topper, the amazing professor who can simplify the most complex subject and make it engaging. After all, what will an ad man do, if the very core that is advertised, is not good enough?

Back in my high school, we had a motto that was ingrained into us - Faith and Toil. That is perhaps the root of how talents can emerge. And be remembered. It is almost a given that talent will diffuse after a point and one has to keep it alive with tremendous amount of effort and diligence. Sachin Tendulkar did that and show us how it is done. He fundamentally taught an entire nation what one can do with one's own talent. I guess they told us the same thing in my school, but I perhaps, didn't grasp its essence! ;)

Lastly, I am convinced that talent is one of the core pillars for the progress in this world. What would this world be, if not for new talent emerging in every generation and taking the world a tad forward? We would all be stuck in Stone Age, otherwise!

While Diego Maradona dazzled us with his skills on the football field, it is time for the world in 2020 to define, identify, and nurture the talents we need for the next century. COVID-19, will come and go. Some other disaster may strike us again, who knows. But, we should not stop dreaming of what talent,  faith and toil, can do for this planet. Talent eases us, pleases us, and even makes life pulsating and energetic. Perhaps, that is what we are missing right now. Let's keep the faith for a better tomorrow, as no epidemic or disaster can stop human talent, which is far more powerful than the enemy (whether known or unknown).

Just remember Maradona's talent, though it is sad that he is not with us anymore. But if what he showed us on the football field is anything to go by, here is still hope for a better tomorrow.

MS Dhoni - the art of the possible!

This is a timestamp that will be recorded for posterity - 1929 hours on the 15th of August 2020. At the potential peak of the COVID-19, and on India's 73rd Independence Day, an iconic cricketer, Mahendra Singh Dhoni (MSD) announced his retirement from international cricket. The mightiness of this extraordinary cricketer simply lies in the narrative he changed, both today and when he played for India. As a cricket fan, there are a few things that I learnt from MSD that indicated the art of the possible.

He changed the narrative in the initial days of his career itself, with his long hair, pulsating strokeplay lower down the batting order, only to be matched by extraordinary glove work behind the stumps. That combination alone had not been seen on a cricket field before. We never knew about anything called a helicopter shot before he played it, either! MSD  proved to us that being unorthodox, creating your own brand of cricket, and yet sticking to the high standards of the game are perfectly capable of co-existing with each other.

Needless to say, his iconic rise to global stardom from small town India is now part of cricketing folklore. That aspect of his great career alone, made many subsequent Indian cricketers and Indians from various walks of life to believe that their skills could also matter on the world stage. He taught us to dream, and to dream big for a better tomorrow, to be recognised for your skill and for who you are.  His hometown, Ranchi, which was considered an after-thought as a cricketing venue, got one of the greatest sporting facilities in the country and a pavilion named after MSD! Clear impact of the man and what he delivered as a cricketer!

In the context of the world entering the great financial crisis, in 2008-09, with many people losing hope, MSD offered hope. Simply because, he showed us the ability to bounce back. The Indian cricket team did not qualify for even the quarter-finals in the ICC World Cup in 2007 and that is considered a huge setback for the team of that time.  From that disappointment, the team went on to win the coveted trophy on that famous April night in 2011 in Mumbai. The photograph of MSD's supersonic six off the Sri Lankan bowler, Kulasekara will be etched in the Indian sporting memory forever. What is even more interesting is that MSD was hardly seen in the post-match celebrations and he left the stage for the other cricketing icon, Sachin Tendulkar, to own his moment. MSD, will be known for that winning strike, but he will be remembered even more for his leadership in Indian cricket, especially on that night. 

That's the endearing aspect of what MSD did. Yes, he was the captain of the Indian cricket team for nearly 6 years of his career. But, he never looked (from the outside) to be asserting himself on players, seemed to back many cricketers, created and gave small town boys the opportunity to express themselves on the world stage, and build a team that exhibited its skills well. And he was such a quiet man, per media reports. Which tells you a thing or two of how well he must have engaged with the team for them to believe that the decisions he took as a captain would be in their best interests: Another abject lesson of how leadership should be!

Interestingly, his first big win in the T-20 World Cup in South Africa in 2007, was perhaps a pre-cursor of things to follow. The greatest evidence of that accomplishment was the emergence of the global brand called IPL. He was one of the key players who has changed the narrative for 20-20 cricket in the last 13 years. There are endless number of games when MSD kept us on the edge of our seats, in nail-biting finishes in IPL cricket! But what was even more impressive, was the way he was universally accepted by audiences all over India, even though everyone knew that he was the captain of the Chennai Super Kings team. Hardly have we seen a cricketer whose name is chanted in a cricket stadium, when you know that he is the opposition captain. MSD allowed us to celebrate him, as we were cheering our national cricket captain, even though he was playing IPL club cricket! Universal acceptance, is another great thing he taught us. 

I have often pondered, what is it that this incredible cricketer did, which many others with gifted backgrounds sometimes fail to do? While I have never had an opportunity to meet the great man, as a keen follower of cricket, I am convinced it is the sheer hunger to maximise his skills and find solutions to construct the art of winning, is what fundamentally made MSD reach where he did. And that, to my mind is an extraordinary lesson he gave us - find a solution with what one has and can utilize, to win, in any given circumstance.

Nowhere else is this hunger better manifested than in the title of the greatest 'finisher in limited overs cricket' that he earned. Realistically, before him, limited overs cricket did not have too many considerations for the art of winning games from impossible, and nearly losing positions, in a cricket match. Till the time MSD was at the crease, clearly, opposition captains and bowlers would never be able to estimate if they even had a chance of winning. Why and how MSD made them feel that way? That is where I believe the power of his mind to think of solutions to win a game, from any situation, was limitless. A lesson for many of us.

Obviously, as is well known, his temperament is increasingly taking on the flavour of becoming a great case study in psychology and management of emotional intelligence. We are all used to hearing EQ being more important than IQ, when one is at the highest level or at any given level in an organisation. In the case of MSD, to have played his brand of cricket with free expression and an uncluttered mind, with such extraordinary balance and poise, is truly a hard act to follow. It may well be in the realm of a psychological case study on how to stay calm, and maybe he could contribute to some pioneering research in that sphere alone!

In conclusion, MSD is a legacy that will stand the test of time and will be cited as a fantastic example of cricketing greatness. Future generations of cricketers will undoubtedly be advised about the MSD school of cricket, which is hard to replicate and incredibly unique. We must take a moment to recognise that we have in our midst a champion cricketer, who cascaded into our homes with a smile, led the country's cricket team to unimaginable heights, and showed us the merits of free expression of talent and poise. Difficult to get such a combination again. 

Thank you, MSD! You will be missed!