Tuesday, November 04, 2008

The fine line between a relationship and friendship

This might be as good as a Catch-22 situation, which I think many people in our current generation would have been exposed to. Of course, at varying degrees, if I may add i.e what is the line that one draws when one gets along so famously with a member of the opposite gender, and is one who is your greatest ever friend? What sort of a line does one draw in defining the space for oneself, and the space for the sublime friendship? And most importantly, how does one react when the line is breached and enters the realm of a relationship?

I am increasingly convinced that the loss of a friendship, especially a sublime,special and ever-lasting one, is a far greater loss than losing the same person in a relationship. Such relationships with one's greatest friend ends up being a double-edged sword, as it promises such a fantastic future together, only to topple not only the relationship, but also the fantastic camaraderie, that exists between two people. I am not trying to generalise here, but I am quite convinced that it is never a good idea to lose one's greatest ever friend to a relationship. That can wreck havoc on the psyche, as the aura of companionship that was so much a part of one's life as friends, gets eroded under the magical aura of a relationship.

I think the line between friendship and a relationship with one's greatest friend is incredibly fine. And not too many people are good at reading that line. That can have devastating effects on the psyche. Permanently so. This is more damaging as one gets older, and one longs for such rare, genuine companionship, only to find that he/she is no longer a part of one's life - neither as a friend/companion, nor as a partner. 

It is much better to salvage a friendship and enjoy the incredible camaraderie of such equations between two people from the opposite genders. I am convinced that the agony of losing a friendship, especially, a very special one, is far more damaging and leaves a greater void, than does the agony of the relationship going all wrong. Yes, the loss of a relationship devastes a person but when that very relationship had its roots in extraordinarily genuine friendship, the loss of the latter is catastrophic. And when both losses happen, there is more than a reasonable chance to experience trauma that may never be cured.

Friendship! Ah, that sublime bond that teaches us so much about ourselves, makes us grow in the fond camaraderie and care of one's greatest/best friend ever and makes you an enriched human being. Losing it, can mean, losing the sounding board of your life. In many ways, losing a massive pillar of one's life. 

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