This is not an attempt to draft a manual of the processes involved in upgrading a girl to a bride or a guy to a groom!Its that time of life when every relative I have and every remote associate in the family has an opinion. About what else, but my marriage! While X wants a homely girl, Y presents the case of a daring girl, and somebody else showcases the candidature of a girl with a good mix of modern and tradition. Some girls are qualified,some are not so qualified (who decides this, by the way?), while others are not up to the mark(questionable again). And then, there is the other issue of family background et al. Are we on a "hunt" here? Or are we trying to make the best use of the available talent pool in the matrimony market? Or, are we trying to quickfix the situation?
While I am still enjoying my freedom (with a multitude of girlfriends and in NO hurry to make an immediate choice just for the heck of it!), I am actually wondering why this concept of unification is paid so much attention to,in our country. Why the Mittals and Saharas of the world blow up so much of money and have pompous weddings of their children? Is it an index of happiness? How is it that the attendance of VIPs, is supposedly deemed to be proportional to the degree of happiness experienced by the duo who are getting married? What has social status got to do with a marriage? Why can't a guy and a girl love each other like there is nothing else in this world? Why are we reducing these opinions to class, sects, sub-sects and such man-made demarcations? And pompous displays of wealth is NO index of happiness.
Thankfully, I am lucky in that, whatever X or Y may say, I get to take the final call. Thank god for that and thank god for having such broad-minded parents!!
In a lighter vein, I find the process of this bride-hunting very funny (at least in the arranged marriage route) - two families meet based on the documented evidence of a horoscope (which is generations old by the time the guy and girl in question are of marriageable age!). There are pleasantries exchanged between the two families. I think this meeting is a classic behavioural test more than anything else i.e. everyone is at his/her best behaviour and putting his/her own best foot forward. And in broad-minded families like mine, after the initial pleasantries between the two families, the guy and the girl go and sit alone and have a long talk.
This conversation is the most interesting bit i.e.two human beings, brought together by the documented evidence of their candidatures (which is again based on somebody else's estimation/calculation),trying to make the most of the meeting. They try to be themselves, but are not possibly themselves at all. The conversation can go either way - drift, or end up as a chatter. Now,chattering away to glory can depict a false sense of interest! That is something not too many are aware of i.e.two individuals,meeting for the first time, if talkative, will have a lot of conversation going! (My friends call me a flirt and I talk a lot with girls! Doesn't mean I go after every available singleton on the planet -m arriage is special stuff, please! At least, for me!). Now, such conversation can be no index of affinity! On the contrary, the meeting can bomb, with both the guy and girl not knowing what to talk, or one party doing all the talking and the other sitting as an ardent listener. That has its own dynamics, as some guys like quiet girls & vice-versa, but outgoing people like me would much prefer a girl who has a brain and uses it to voice her opinion with her mouth! Don't need dumb ducks here, please! Not me, at least!
Finally,after the "talk", the families bid each other goodbye, with the cliched,"we will get back to you", and as soon as the guy and the girl are back on their way back home, the parents shoot the missile question:"What do you think?". BOOM! Ah! One meeting, and one has to answer a question that would impact a lifetime (thank god I know to say no!), what one thinks in bullet points that have just two options - yes or no! (Ok, exceptions are there to this, I know). Hehehe, had that been so easy to answer, I would've married some 20 times by now, as I like so many of my friends who are girls!! But that is a totally different ball game, will write about that some other time...
While I am still enjoying my freedom (with a multitude of girlfriends and in NO hurry to make an immediate choice just for the heck of it!), I am actually wondering why this concept of unification is paid so much attention to,in our country. Why the Mittals and Saharas of the world blow up so much of money and have pompous weddings of their children? Is it an index of happiness? How is it that the attendance of VIPs, is supposedly deemed to be proportional to the degree of happiness experienced by the duo who are getting married? What has social status got to do with a marriage? Why can't a guy and a girl love each other like there is nothing else in this world? Why are we reducing these opinions to class, sects, sub-sects and such man-made demarcations? And pompous displays of wealth is NO index of happiness.
Thankfully, I am lucky in that, whatever X or Y may say, I get to take the final call. Thank god for that and thank god for having such broad-minded parents!!
In a lighter vein, I find the process of this bride-hunting very funny (at least in the arranged marriage route) - two families meet based on the documented evidence of a horoscope (which is generations old by the time the guy and girl in question are of marriageable age!). There are pleasantries exchanged between the two families. I think this meeting is a classic behavioural test more than anything else i.e. everyone is at his/her best behaviour and putting his/her own best foot forward. And in broad-minded families like mine, after the initial pleasantries between the two families, the guy and the girl go and sit alone and have a long talk.
This conversation is the most interesting bit i.e.two human beings, brought together by the documented evidence of their candidatures (which is again based on somebody else's estimation/calculation),trying to make the most of the meeting. They try to be themselves, but are not possibly themselves at all. The conversation can go either way - drift, or end up as a chatter. Now,chattering away to glory can depict a false sense of interest! That is something not too many are aware of i.e.two individuals,meeting for the first time, if talkative, will have a lot of conversation going! (My friends call me a flirt and I talk a lot with girls! Doesn't mean I go after every available singleton on the planet -m arriage is special stuff, please! At least, for me!). Now, such conversation can be no index of affinity! On the contrary, the meeting can bomb, with both the guy and girl not knowing what to talk, or one party doing all the talking and the other sitting as an ardent listener. That has its own dynamics, as some guys like quiet girls & vice-versa, but outgoing people like me would much prefer a girl who has a brain and uses it to voice her opinion with her mouth! Don't need dumb ducks here, please! Not me, at least!
Finally,after the "talk", the families bid each other goodbye, with the cliched,"we will get back to you", and as soon as the guy and the girl are back on their way back home, the parents shoot the missile question:"What do you think?". BOOM! Ah! One meeting, and one has to answer a question that would impact a lifetime (thank god I know to say no!), what one thinks in bullet points that have just two options - yes or no! (Ok, exceptions are there to this, I know). Hehehe, had that been so easy to answer, I would've married some 20 times by now, as I like so many of my friends who are girls!! But that is a totally different ball game, will write about that some other time...
1 comment:
:) i think we have same views about life..
giving a good way to ur expressions..
good ... keep writing..
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