Sunday, September 18, 2005

Ah,I felt lonely today!

I really felt lonely today.Had completely stopped thinking negative etc,but today was a bad day.Lots of things came rushing back.It shouldn't have.But well, human emotion is something that no individual controls,it just comes.And today it came.Like the tsunami.I felt miserable.But I have learnt to handle myself in these moods.

As it is,I have been working the hell out of my life in office,chasing this deadline for the last month.I am glad that its just around the corner and that I will be taking off on vacation soon!

But today was bad.I came home tired,absolutely zonked.For the first time in many,many months I felt lonely.I longed for a partner to just sit in the hall and talk and talk and talk.To immerse myself in the depth of a partnership with a mature human being.I didn't want to think of career,life,x,y or z.Just wished there was somebody at home to receive me,instead of my chairs and tables and fans and AC.I am usually the first to hook onto the internet,but I didn't touch my brand new laptop today.No mood.I didn't want to stare at a blank machine again that doesn't respond.I longed for some care today,somebody who would respond.It got lonely.

And I went to see the movie,Salaam Namaste....which was about partnership.About oneness,about unification,about building a life together...gosh..it made me even more lonely.

I just slept after that...